Compassion: For Yourself, within a Unitarian Universalist Theology
Part Two

Ponderings of the Spiritual Life Director

I begrudgingly arose today at 6:15 a.m. to take my daughter to school. It was dark, cold, and drizzly. Neither one of us are morning people. She fell asleep in the car for the duration of our 25 minute drive, so I had no one to talk to, except myself. All I could think about was how terribly tired I was and how this dreary weather wasn’t making it any better. Where is that Florida sunshine? I dropped her off and then headed back north to have blood drawn, figuring the lab wouldn’t be too busy this early on such a lowery day (that’s a new word I learned last Sunday from Arland!). I was right. There weren’t many people hanging out in the lab. The phlebotomist and I complained about the weather together. I went home and tried to find my motivation. But, it seemed as though it were lost in the gray clouds somewhere up above my head, just out of reach.

Until I realized that I had forgotten my morning gratitude practice. What were those words from the Dalai Lama that we spoke together at the beginning of worship last Sunday?

“Today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others as much as I can.”

And suddenly, my mind switched to a more positive outlook and I started pondering the benefits of this sort of weather, especially as they may relate to self-compassion. As I mentioned last week, as we strive to be compassionate, it’s important to recognize that not one of us is perfect. Early Unitarians believed that God had a loving and parental nature. They also believed God was in each of us, and following our divine intuition was the path to religious truth. Thus, if we put these together, we can remember to love ourselves (that’s where it starts) and each other as we also embrace our imperfections, knowing they are a part of our human journey.

So, as I drove to the office in the rain and cold and started to reframe it in my mind, I found an understanding: it’s ok to pause and pay attention to the cloudy gray places of our hearts and souls. Sometimes, we do have to slow down, close our eyes in retreat, and be mindful of what’s really stirring around inside us. Comfort those hurting parts, embrace them, like a parent would a child. Have patience, instead of wishing it would just go away (because wishing it away won’t work). It’s like sipping a hot cup of tea with honey to soothe that which might be burning a hole in our hearts. If the tears need to fall like the rain, allow for it to happen. Pay attention to the growth that springs from this nourishing, as if it came from the skies above, too. Because certainly, sadness and hurt and tiredness are a part of our sacred human nature. Allow yourself to feel empathy for you. Let the clouds and the cold help you to turn inward with compassion as your blanket. Hold your imperfections, your hurts with love and sit with them for a while. The sun will return, and it will help you look outward with more compassion for others and their imperfections. Getting through the dark, cold storms of our lives with self-compassion will help the whole world bloom with love. The world is divine and so are you!